Zero Parades Review: A Beautiful Mess of Espionage

I sat down with Zero Parades hoping for a high-stakes spy thriller. I expected shadows, dead drops, and cold-blooded tradecraft. What I got was something else entirely.

It's a gorgeous game. It looks, moves, and feels like a direct cousin to Disco Elysium. But don't let the familiar art style fool you.

Does it work as a spy game? Honestly, not really. It's a mess, but it's a beautiful mess.

The shadow of a giant

ZA/UM had a massive task here. They had to follow up a modern classic. Everyone watched them closely. The pressure was surely immense.

They chose to build a new world. We see Portofiro instead of Revachol. It feels distinct but shares that same DNA. You'll recognize the painterly brushstrokes immediately.

This isn't a sequel. It doesn't borrow characters. Yet, it feels haunted by its predecessor. It's a strange, hybrid creature.

Hershel and the art of failing upwards

You play as Hershel Wilk. She's a spy pulled from the Freezer. Her mission? Find out why her contact went silent in Portofiro. It sounds simple enough.

The problem is Hershel herself. She is bad at her job. She drinks too much. She shares her real name with strangers. She constantly ruins her own cover.

The world around her is rich. You have the La Luz colonialists and the EMTERR bank. They all want Portofiro for themselves. You should be playing them against each other.

Instead, you spend your time angsting. You tell everyone your secrets. You stumble through alleys while the city burns around you. It's funny, but it's not really spying.

Maybe that's the point. Maybe ZA/UM wants you to feel like a washed-up wreck. It works for the drama, but it fails the genre.

Mechanics under the hood

The game adds some cool systems. I loved the fatigue and anxiety meters. They make you feel Hershel's decay in real time. You have to balance your health and your stress.

The Conditioning system replaces the old Thought Cabinet. It's a neat way to track your internal growth. I liked Jar of Faces. It gave me bonuses for staying mysterious.

Then there are the Dramatic Encounters. These are the best parts of the game. The screen turns gray. Time slows down. You have to make a split-second choice.

These moments feel like real spy work. You feel the training kick in. You feel the stakes. It's a shame the rest of the game ignores this energy.

What comes next for portofiro?

I'm not sure who this game is for. Hardcore spy fans will hate the lack of stealth. Disco Elysium fans might miss the specific soul of the original.

It's a bold experiment. It tries to graft new ideas onto a proven system. Sometimes it clicks. Often, it just feels disjointed.

We'll see if patches fix the pacing. Right now, it's a game of high highs and low lows. It's worth a look if you want something different.

Quick questions answered

Is this a sequel to Disco Elysium? No. It's a totally separate game set in a new world.

Do I need to be good at stealth games? Not at all. The game barely cares about stealth mechanics.

Is the story any good? It's messy but very well written. You'll enjoy the dialogue.

Does it run well on a Steam Deck? It is currently TBD, so wait for updates before buying.

How long is the game? It takes about 20 hours for a standard run.